As news broke yesterday that Levon Helm was in the final stages of his battle with cancer I was overcome with sadness. Levon's music has meant a lot to me. I would go so far as to say that Levon is one of the most important music figures in my life. In fact, I could make that statement with certainty.
I remember first getting into The Band. It was my freshman year of college and my friend Josh and I went to see Dark Star Orchestra at The Orpheum Theater. It was shortly after George Harrison died and in the encore they said some honorary words and dedicated the next song to the late Beatle, and then they proceeded to play The Weight. I had heard the song before, but it had never resonated with me like it did that night. Hearing it then was like a revelation. The melody and harmonies were so beautiful and the lyrics were so ambiguously profound. I returned to my apartment that night and immediately began my obsession with The Band.
Man was I obsessed. I collected the entire discography. I listened to Bob Dylan and the Band every minute, for the better part of three years. Just ask all my college roommates. The music was perfect, upbeat at times and slow at others, but always focused and soulful. The lyrics were meaningful, poetic, and insightful. It was all so good that it was heartbreaking. There was so much untapped material, such large collections, that every record was an exciting new discovery. After my Bob Dylan and The Band phase, music took on a whole new meaning.
Hearing Music From Big Pink for the first time was indescribable. Every moment of my life up until that point was meant for me to eventually hear that album and take in its lessons. That album was my religion for a time. The Band's self-titled album was Americana/Roots Rock that spoke to my soul, dragging out of me thoughts and ideas of a more simple, complete life. Every album, Stage Fright, Northern Lights/Southern Cross, Cahoots, Islands, this music was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I watched The Last Waltz, easily the best rock film of all time, constantly. I would fall asleep to it after a long night of partying with friends. Neil Young and the rendition of Helpless, the Staples Singers doing The Weight in rehearsal, opening the show with The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, all those performances were earth-shattering. Then here was The Basement Tapes. Wow. I can't even count how many times I listened to that double album, each time taking away more and more. To this day, I still say Bessie Smith is my favorite song of all time. All this music cradled my sudden freedom and independence at college and taught me how to live.
I remember visiting my first girlfriend at Penn State and incessantly playing Stage Fright. In her car, in her dorm room, just non stop. I remember singing Daniel and the Sacred Harp, every single verse of the four minute and six second song to my girlfriend's annoyance, while I showered getting ready for her sorority formal. When I first started my record collection, she bought me Stage Fright at a record store in Pennsylvania for my birthday. I remember crying while listening to It Makes No Difference after we broke up. Forcing myself to listen to the song again and again, my heart emptying with each play. I also remember listening to Before the Flood years later and, for the first time, feeling like I was actually over her.
I remember when Levon Helm first announced that he'd be playing a show at New York's Beacon Theater in 2007. He'd be playing two nights, one of which was on St. Patrick's Day. My friends and I had to go. At the time, I didn't know about Levon's battle with throat cancer and how he had recently recovered his voice. I didn't know how he had started playing these concerts, and doing his famed Midnight Rambles, to pay the astronomical medical bills he encountered during his treatment. I didn't know about how he wasn't sure of the reception he would receive playing live concerts again after such a long time. I didn't know how tired and weary he was. At the time, I just knew I loved The Band's music, I loved Levon, and I had to go. It was the best concert I ever saw in my life.
I can't totally put the experience into words, but I'll try to summarize. I couldn't stop smiling the whole show. He opened with (I Don't Want to Hang Up My) Rock 'n' Roll Shoes, and from there it was like a dream. Levon's voice sounded amazing. I mean, it was surprisingly good. We were shocked. There were upwards of 16 guest musicians that joined him on stage throughout the show. Dr John came out and did Such a Night. Warren Haynes came out for I Shall Be Released. Levon got up from his drum set at one point, grabbed a mandolin, sat on a bar stool in the middle of the stage, and sang Atlantic City. It completely blew my mind. Every musical guest in attendance, including Garth Hudson, came on for the encore and the whole crowd sang along to The Weight. When the house lights finally went up, the crowd began chanting "Lev-ON! Lev-ON! Lev-ON!" The stagehands and managers went up, got Levon, and brought him out for a true encore. This wasn't planned. It was the only true encore I've ever seen. The smile on Levon's face was something I'll never forget. He was emotional about the outpouring of support and went on to thank a lot of people, and a lot of doctors, for allowing him to be there on that night. I'm so grateful I got to see that show, and still think about it often. It was special. If I never saw a concert again, it would be ok, because I was at the Beacon Theater on St. Patrick's Day 2007.
After that show, my friends and I made it a point to see Levon every time he came around, and we did. We must have seen him play 10 more shows after that. Unfortunately, the quality of his voice disintegrated exponentially with every show we saw. By the final time we saw him, he could barely be heard or carry a note, and he only attempted to sing three songs. It was sad, but he still played with the same joy and energy and it was a fun show nevertheless.
I remember December 4th, 2010. I had a date with a girl named Elyssa. We met for dinner and immediately bonded over our love for The Band, especially The Last Waltz. We both talked about what that music meant to us and how it's affected us. Time passed and we spent every moment together, The Band constantly playing in the background. We listened to the Last Waltz together late at night. We danced in my apartment to The Band's records. I eventually took her to see Levon perform in New Jersey, and that was where she first met one of my good friends, Dave. That was the final time I got to see Levon perform. We recently celebrated Elyssa's 25th birthday and it was requested that the house band of the bar we were at play The Weight, her favorite song. It was The Band's music that began the deepest connection I've ever had with someone in my entire life.
Music is the most important thing in the world to me and Levon Helm is the most important music figure in my life. Aside from his amazing, prototypical American rock 'n' roll voice, his steady, brilliant drumming, and his joyous energy, he's influenced my life in ways that have shaped my existence. His music has guided me, consoled me, been a soundtrack to my happiness, made me think, and made me dance. I can't thank him enough.
Rest in peace Levon. My world was a better place because of you. I look forward to hearing you sing and play drums when I get to where you're going.